no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
