dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
