So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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