i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize