I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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