Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
