the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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