1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
