well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
