Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
