You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
