last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
