If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize