I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
