You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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