Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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