With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The Olympian is in my bed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
