Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
