I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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