Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
