So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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