Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
