U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize