First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
