We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
