So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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