I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
