this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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