I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize