2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He better not be in your backpack
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize