i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
