New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
