College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
