Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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