Ambien. No doubt about it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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