if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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