i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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