I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
