hotel room ftw
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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