would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
