why didn't you poke me back
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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