just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
