i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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