So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize