someone threw a dead crab at me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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