i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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