Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you never un-have a 4some
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
