great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize