at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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