So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
