I cockslap morals
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
