i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
