That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
