I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
