HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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