Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
