don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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