thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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