I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
