Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
