i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
