mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
