It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
